On Cloud 9
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In three words I can sum up everything about life. It goes on.

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Date to ✍: 22-02 // 22-08
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Where there is love there is life.





Why must it be you, tmrw?
July 14, 2009 || 5:00 PM

It's been very hard for me to really go on with things around. Some good things, and some are just bad. I'll write evrything that's botherin me, even right now. I'll appreciate it if you really understand it.

Things have brought me to tears each night, before sleep. I am here, only by you. I was made by you. I grow older, with your pamperedness, love and care. You can't be compared by others cause you're the all time best in my own eyes. You hide things away from me to make me feel good, but did you care how deep it hurts when it's revealed? You loved me too much, that you didn't even want me to know nothing. I'm the only daughter to both my biological parents. Who do i have, beside both of you who brought me up? Thanks, dad. Lucky someone finally broke out of the promises and told me evrything. You know how shocked i was, at that particular moment? My heart beat twice faster, my eyes were so red. I thought i'd be strong, but i failed. I couldn't even look into your face, i couldn't. I couldn't believed those were facts, but it was. It happened. "The truth always hurts", i agree.

Every day and night, looking at you being my dad. I'm proud, to myself, to the whole world. You made a great impact to my life. I pray for you, always. Seeking for bravery for myself and yours. Picturing you smiling, was rather fantastic than you cry. Each night, before sleeping, i recalled evrything again.
  • Remember, when we used to be only two of us staying with Nenek and all? Each time, aunt was raising her voice at you over some things, i'd cry.
  • Remember, how was it like to stay together at our house? That you always loved. That you didn't want to moved out, but mom did.
  • Remember, how was it like for you to walk every morning, with me sleeping on your shoulders? (when i were small)
  • Remember when you told me you were hospitalised cause of something small, and i cried like as if someone's dying? That was the first time, knowing that you were hospitalised.
You are always the best, to me. No one can ever take your place in myself. Everything about you, was always the #1 for me. I really want to tell you i really appreciate all the thing you have done. You've showed me that you really loved me. Be strong, i really need you to be by me all time. "Bile ayah takde, awak jage diri baik baik." What are you trying to say? The moment i heard that, i teared again. You didn't even looked at me when you walked away, i know you can't see me crying. I bet so, you will cry. I know you, more than others. 15 years, of living with you. Don't do this to me, i know you'd be strong to face this. I really love you so much.

Ayah, thanks too for you being nice with Tajul. That day's lunch was interesting, with you and mummy together with Qai qai. It ended well too, by you saying " Jumpe lagi eh, jul" Thanks alot.

I think, that's it for today. I know, today wasn't that "normal" like others. Keep to your words, it hurts a thousand times. I hope, he does it. Mr Wai wang chatted with me thru fb saying, "I won't be coming to school tml as my nose is vey bad.. (all thanks to mahes's morning perfume)" Bayeeeek pe, HAHA!!