In three words I can sum up everything about life. It goes on.
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Four.
March 24, 2011 || 5:19 PM
Er..this is so awkward but I guess a Hi could help. I couldnt get my eyes to shut therefore, here I am. I just had my night conversation with that boy. Starting, I couldn't get my emotions stable and I cried. No, not because of him but cause of..dad.. I know right, this is a reality challenge I have to go through. Sighs. Everytime i step into my room, takin a glance from my wall to my mirror, that's the moment my emotions loosen up and I couldn't be any stronger anymore. Even by touch nor talking, damn it's merely a picture. Only prayers can help. How I wish..but none of the things i wish would be granted anymore because I have been wishing he was here with me, us. But..yeah reality. I just have to cry it all out to him, because he knows everything well and he's always there for me. Slowly, I laughed to his jokes and there goes my tears. I don't know why but I feel so comfortable talking to him at about anything. He knows when I am down, like he could read my mind. Just like my dad, he would heal all the pain and change them into smiles. Thank god, besides my wonderful families, I have him around.
I have been enjoying and gaining back what I have lost during school days. Yeah, I need them. Can't live without self-confidence right? I guess, I am much better now. Really, sometimes I regret but I shall continue with my journey. Even if some people or certain people would compare my results to whoever, I shall tell myself that I have done my best. Nothing shall bring me down, I hope so. Until when? Enough, once schools starts, I don't think I will be working that much. I have to catch up on things that i am not sure of. Yes, I found a soul who could help me. Irsyam. Someday, once he got all the notes done with, we shall meet up and study together. I think it's time to be serious and focus on this. Atleast, try my best, tho I can't? Hmm. Yeah. Even if I can't get any poly course, there's still ite right? Hmm.
I have two days to stay home and rest. To just relax and at the same time, help mom with the house chores. Shall just stay home cause really, don't feel like heading out or shall I say dress up for something? Hahaha. Lazy, that's it! Besides that, I am having muscles cramps due to the rock-climbing which I went two days back. But, it was hilarious! Meeting those guys who crack jokes all the time, supports each other. Hehehe fun to climb with them, you know. Especially with that boy. I could see him dancing and singing to the songs > when he's happy, and being so frustrated > when he failed an attempt to finish his given route. But, he tries hard and my baby never gives up!
I should be sleeping, like I told you so but, I think this is enough right? Alright, I need to relax my mind and close my eyes then I could fall asleep > that was what that boy kept telling me while he was dozing off. So adorable right? Hehehe cute mellows! Nanights <: