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#78
March 2, 2013 || 2:39 AM
Why now..............why! Hate this time of the month when your emotions are all over the place and when everything seems wrong and I'll be so urgh and end up mad and cry to sleep. But am I the only one who sees this? They seemed like they have something in common, chemistry in whatever they're doing and I'm like just another girl who feels/think this way esp when you wanna get something that the other person has and you already the person has bought it and yet you wanna buy it so is it like what? Jiwe eh? I wish I could write this and no one knows a single shit and I don't care because the more I care the more I get hurt! This is what I get I guess, after everything that has happened to me. Why do I have to be the one having to care so much even when I know not hurts! I hate this I don't know why I swear it hurts. Why must I think like this.......ya la ya la I'm always a fault for thinking too much and being what? Oh ya immature. It's like the chemistry.........put me in a situation where I don't know should I be happy or jealous. Like they have this chemistry together which I don't then now what? I shall just keep quite when I go thru shit? Like go thru it again and put up a fake smile on my face hah lol that will never happen. Urgh I don't know am I like bad to even say all this am I at fault huh?? Huh am in so who's gonna mend this heart ache? Me! Ugh again and again and again and again and again I guess I have to go through shits ha ha for the one I love and want to be with yet I get this. Whatever it is again (for the countless time) hopefully I could be who I was last time, when I don't really care what people think and just be myself. Yes be myself 5 years ago before I know anyone.