In three words I can sum up everything about life. It goes on.
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#99
April 28, 2013 || 11:58 PM
This is th bloody night I have to get mad again because of another "rejection" again wth is going on with this human seriously I have never met someone this bad before. Oh yes definitely I met someone who'd meet me like everyday if he could but this oh 'I can't because I've got this and that and bla bla bla bla' bullshit and right before...... Seriously if you don't have time even like now for me, what makes me think I could have time with you later on sia?!!!!! Urgh so when I kept waiting waiting waiting and I get this slapped in my face and expect me to be understanding forever fucking hell go to hell urghhhhh I cannot stand this anymore I seriously cannot. Don't you like get it like how badly I want to spend my time with you before you go missing for idk how long but all you've got to tell me was you're busy with this and that and forever it has been like and expect me to endure with the wait again and then when you're in I have to wait and what do I get from all the wait la sia tell me!!!!!!! I am so mad frustrated i don't know how to urgh. This is so so so so so so frustrating how can I be this idiot who fall for all this stupid shit again and have to bloody wait then got nothing? I'm fucking done with this, I cannot stand this anymore. It's not fair for me. I don't care, now I will live my own ways. Fucking hell. I am so mad right now I can feel the smoke coming out of my I could my even stop my tears urgh wasting my time on this freaking shit again. Wastin my time again. What an idiot I am.
You know this feeling when you've put everything into it because it's the last few moments you could count on but I am definitely wrong again because I am not part of the whole thing. Just so you know I have always wanted to spend time but as always you have so many things so I'm left like this again and again so before I'm like this after waiting for so long and then get nothing I'd rather make my move now compared to later. I'd suffer now than later. I'd rather wake up in the mornings and don't get anything now then later. I'd feel miserable now, because I will be a strong woman which will stand firmly without a man or whatsoever. This is the ultimate most annoying moments of my life I don't want to regret this, on the other hand I don't want to miss this or anymore of those. Even if I do, I'd keep it together inside myself because right now I don't trust anybody. I always thought....... Nvm at least I felt wanted before back then, too bad the situation got worst now. Definitely different human. So be it. I'd delete all the memories. I will eventually delete you. And forget every little things. And I will not find you anymore.
This will be me. Myself. And I. Welcome back, Eka. You're strong to go through this shit. Again.