Hi everyone x 

Well that sounds so formal but hey it's already March! 

Current mood: fickled, insecure to the maximum level

I can cry all day all night and chant: "why do I looooooooooook freaking fat now why why why why omg". Wtv I'm fat anw gaining so much weight for now and I don't like it I really need to bring my ass up and get out take in fresh air and jog la, Eka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ya la one day one day ugh I need motivation! Yes motivation to BALI, eka come on buck up la Sia stop sitting start moving walk around shit Sia watch your diet omg this is so frustrating and annoying oh my god. Literally, I want to cry. Can I cry and burn my fats away? HAHA omg eka get out and jog and sweat and make the fats cry. COME ON COME ON BODY FOR BALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EKA!

Yes I am that insecure. Damn frustrating. Esp to look at old photos and seeing myself hmm slimmer WITH LONG HAIR! Now I can't even take a selfie with my short hair 😭💔

I saw ppl on instagram (same size or slightly chubbier/slimmer than me) but still looking good, still looking fine and here I am confused and insecure about my appearance. Sometimes I do take a moment and think: they're same as me and living their life so beautiful and here I am insecure as hell. Hais! Ahhhh really inspired by those people that they have the confidence. Because honestly I think I need to get used to my short hair and you know deal with the fact that it's short and my fats can be seen hahahahaha no more hiding under the long hair. 

 Let's just put this to an end start something afresh and move on. Life goes on, eka. 

& this was on last saturday 

(trust me that day I can't stop complaining on how fat I was seriously) or maybe I was wearing white top? Or maybe I am getting fat? Omg so annoying! haha sometimes it's ridiculous how I feeeeeel so fat about myself today and the next day I'm totally fine with my body hahahaha funny but urgh this gotta change & stop. 

I'd better sleep because stupid work with stupid shitty annoying cb insist us to come 1.5hours earlier stupid shit huh? It's ok sooooooon I'll be gone woo~ 

Till then, 

Goodnight x