It's been a crazy week/weekends/weekday with overwhelming whatsapps/orders coming in.......& life. 

Everyone have their own bad or sad or misfortune day but I just don't know how to categories my day. Yup hectic week............. Fine I'll just say it oh yah cause it's my space so if this second you're going to judge me, try to walk a mile in my shoes. Some times, no, all the times, it hurt me pretty bad when people say something negative about you.....wait, oh did I mention they don't even know me? Then I keep asking myself why does it bother me, why is it hurting me so bad that deep inside me, my walls are crushing down. Why does it have to happen again, why is it me? Why judge when you don't even know me....my goodness humans aren't perfect you're not perfect therefore I'm not too, afterall we are all humans. But, Masya'allah think before you speak something please, think, what if other say something harsh to you? Why can I think of not hurting others but why can't they just stop....... Why. Why. So cruel. Urg I hate to be in this situation all over and over and over and over again. It's like a never ending situation. 

And then. Ah. Helping and expections. I would love to help people with whatever I could but........even at my lowest seems like everyone vanish into thin air. Suddenly the earth has magic, no? Ha ha.......... Afterall.........afterall..........well I felt sad disappointed surprised shocked and etc etc. Speechless when things like this happened.

Why. Is. It. That. I. Have. To. Think. More...........overthinking sucks but then it made me realize after all these while who you should help and who you should not. When in sad times I'll be there just like you need me. But when in my sad times.......everyone vanish into thin air again. Wow! I had to take in a lot of shits, a lot of unwanted undesirable shits and yet some people just can't think for goodness sake. Really? I can go so much for you, but you? This is the very reason why I have trust issue because when I start to trust fully things like this happens. Ya Allah..................do let me be strong as an individual mentally and physically. I'm tired of going through all this over and over again. Very tired. 

This turned out to be a......eye opener. For me. & I got it. I get the whole picture. I get it. And whatever gonna happen after this...........I don't know. Really. Let's just leave things as it is and let me see where it takes me to...hell or heaven on earth.